Louisa Jonker .: february 2002 Rethink your view on romance as ewe-turn regular, Louisa Jonker, comes clean about her mysterious past (well, sort of). Have you ever picked up one of those Christian romance novels on a rainy afternoon when you didn't have anything better to do? Their broad appeal seems quite amazing, from teenage girls to grandmothers. It seems as though there is always a new series coming on to the market. Even secular publishing houses, like Harlequin, are getting into the action with a new line of 'inspirational romances'. Romance novels tend to come in mass-market editions, which are pocket-sized and inexpensive and with the average American reader buying 3 or 4 a month, over 5 million Christian fiction books are sold per year. Although they are set in a wide range of eras and locations, I always seemed to get hold of the ones set in the American Midwest in the time of the pioneers - Little House on the Prairie style. The general plot line seems to be that the young woman in question is attracted to the wrong man - he's charming and wealthy but a little ruthless - whom she only avoids marrying by the skin of her teeth. She then realises that the perfect man for her was there all along, unnoticed - he's the solid, dependable, honest and reliable guy, who has a heart of gold. One of the things which I think is good about this kind of book is that it's better than reading a Mills and Boon romance (or Sweet Valley High, Jackie Collins, whatever). So much of current women's literature is actually thinly disguised pornography - this is particularly the case with the romance novels - so it's refreshing to read books where the characters don't even kiss until they're engaged. It's important however, that having read the Christian romances you don't then move on to reading the secular ones. It was also interesting that there was some attempt at evangelism - as each novel seems to have a page or two where one of the characters outlines to another what it means to follow Jesus and be a Christian. In my opinion, however, there are two problems with the genre that outweigh the benefit outlined above. Firstly, they give you unrealistic expectations about relationships and romance, and secondly, that they make the wedding your idol - because these books encourage you to have your wedding as the primary goal in life. Just once I'd like to read one that starts post-wedding, and deals with the real grit of staying married, or about a girl who decided to stay single (1 Cor 7:25-26). It seems that people are pretty good at getting together - the thing we need help with is staying together. As with a lot of things - romance isn't essentially evil - but it can be abused. Reading romance novels, even Christian ones, is only going to feed unrealistic expectations of life as an unending romantic comedy! But isn't marriage all about your daily intellectual commitment to love and respect your spouse - hopefully with a little romance thrown in? The emphasis in the Bible is that love is all about action and putting other people and their needs before your own. Indeed the apostle John encourages Christians not to love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth (1 John 3:18). It seems to me that romance is certainly a lot of fun and a good part of any marriage, but if it becomes the focus it can be very self-centred and makes love dependent on how that person makes you feel. The danger of romance is that it doesn’t last, so you need a stronger foundation which is something these novels don’t really deal with. The only way that we’ll truly be able to love in an unselfish way, is if we know the love of God for us which is shown through his action of sending his beloved Son, Jesus, into the world to live, to die and to be raised again to life (John 3:16). I think that rather than reading Christian romance novels, our time could be better spent hanging out with Christian couples we know. Maybe survey some of your friends or your parents friends or older couples at church who you respect, and find out from them the real joys and struggles that come with real love and real commitment in marriage. "An unmarried woman of virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world - how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord" :: 1 Corinthians 7:24b-25, NIV :: Louisa Jonker will try to play it down with her quick wit, but she's a real brain. Previously known as a physical chemist, she currently labours in theological studies, where she is affectionately known as a NT Greek Princess. She is passionate about teaching the bible to women and youth. Send Feedback    |    Printable version of this article